The 'Next Chapter' Is Becoming A Reality...

....and it is pretty dang terrifying.

I mean, I am SO excited to go to Las Vegas, but I'm also REALLY scared.

This is the fresh start I've been searching for.

And there is still so much getting in the way..

1) I have to get another car before I leave. And working only one day (at a job I absolutely HATE) isn't really helping me save any money.

2) It's really, really hard hearing your sister and best friend say, "I'll never talk to you again if you move there." And I don't believe them, but I still just wish everyone would be supportive of my choice.

Like my mom even said "I want you to go. You need a life. You aren't going to go anywhere with the lifestyle you have now."

3) Nobody seems to understand why exactly it is that I want to leave. They are like  

Q: "Why cant you just stay here? What does Las Vegas offer that California doesn't?"

A: A LIFE, PEOPLE! A fresh start!

A fresh start where I know people- that still have a lot to learn about me, a place I've been before, a place I like being.

4) What happens if I can't find a job in Las Vegas? How soon would it be until I got to make the move there?

5) What if I do get a job, and it doesn't stick? Do I move back home? Or just become a bum again, looking for another job?

6) Where will i live? What if my whole living-situation ends up not working out? Does that mean I don't move at all?
7) What if I don't have a car? How am I supposed to get to work and around town?

8) What if I am the most annoying roommate on earth!? It's not just vacation, I can't just go home. Like once I'm there, I'M THERE. Not going anywhere.

9) What if it turns out that I'll be living the SAME life, just in a different place? I do NOT want to sit inside a house anymore. I want to adventure out into the world. Have FUN again. Make a REAL paycheck.

10) What will my expenses be? What will I have to pay for? I've never lived away from home. Do I pay some sort of rent to Krissy's mom? Do I just buy my own groceries? Like.... what? lol

11) What am I supposed to take with me? (Ive had a lot of thought about this one.) I'm not just going to college. I can't leave my stuff at home, leave for a few months, and come back to all my stuff. I have to take it ALL with me.. and I'm afraid I'd take up too much room! But also, I can't live out of a suitcase for the rest of my life. Lol

But.....

when I think about this new life...

I can imagine being on the strip, laughing and messing around with a new group of friends.

I can picture working there in a job I really like. Every place I apply, I can picture doing the job.

I can imagine me and Krissy having late chats after she gets off a date, or I get home from work.

I have dreams about my life there alllllll the time. And that makes me SO excited for it.

((I feel like I'm even being annoying about it lol But I cant help it! I'm excited!! I want to get there as soon as I can!))

I just don't want to be disappointed when I get there and I work 24/7, or don't talk to anyone again. That is NOT what I want.

If I am going to make this move, I'm leaving 'Little Red', 'Marty', 'Railroad', 'Rachey', and 'Cherry' behind.

'Rachel Rae' is going to Las Vegas. The new and improved. Not the little girl I've been for the past 19 years.

When I leave, everything is going to change.