It reallllly sucks having a missionary thats out in the mission field. Yeah, its fun at first, to get letters, and get emails. But once youre about a year into it.. it really starts to take a toll on your emotions. Its hard. Any girl would agree with me.
I really have doubts sometime, if I can do this anotherrr year. I mean, my life revolves around him right now. Any effort i put into anyyything, involves him in one way or another.
This week was just a looong week. I got sooo many emails from my missionary, and messages and it was just SO hard. Because i know he is serving the Lord, and he is doing such a GREAT and incredibly noble thing.. but i want him home. I am soooo selfish.
I am so tired of having dreams about him, and trying to make them go on forever. And I listen to my tapes over and over. And read, and reread my letters time and time again. I am just tired of missing him. And he leaves me messages all the time which I really wish he wouldnt do because, first off.. I dont wanna be the girl that gets him sent home. Second, I loooove hearing his voice, but it makes it that much harder. Just because when he tells me he loves me and misses me and tells me he wants me to be his, and nobody elses... its hard to not just be able to run and hug him. I cant call him when im upset anymore. And I hear from him two, three times a week, vs the old days where it was day after day, hours on end. I totally just broke down today in tears when I heard So Obvious, because he sang it to me before... and me and him.. him and me. UGH! I wouldnt trade him for anything. We talk all the time about when he comes home. I love missing him, its just hard.
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